Rovers 1 West Ham 1: Normal service resumed as chicken money forces Allardyce to cluck off back to MadridBy: Dave | December 19th, 2010
First, let me start with an apology to both regular RoversOffside readers. The posts to this blog have dried up in recent weeks, but before you start drafting letters of complaint, let me transfer the blame to the grotesque half-man, half-walrus that is Mr Sam Allardyce. Since he deigned to become our manager two years ago, we have endured entire matches where four passes have failed to be strung together. The tactics, such as they were, appeared to be to smash the ball into the opposition’s box in the hope that something would happen. The Saviour of Real Madrid has stubbornly refused to change from the 4-5-1 formation that drew so much ire from the Rovers faithful. Even victories produced feelings of disappointment, when they were achieved with so little finesse. As such, sitting down in front of the laptop to relive the horror seemed as tempting as giving the big man his annual gentleman’s wash.
Apologists for The Dudley Dickhead have this week suggested that he has been treated appallingly by the new owners, but let no-one be under any illusion that he would have jumped ship as soon as a better offer came along. Presumably, it was only a matter of time before Real Madrid and Inter Milan triggered the most brutal bidding war of the modern football era, leaving him free to leave ‘The likes of Blackburn’ far behind him. Allardyce’s vast ego would have prevented him from remaining loyal in the face of an offer from a perceived ‘bigger club’, and his £1.5 million pay-off should keep him in KFC Buckets for at least a fortnight.
The only difficulty engendered by the sacking is the minor issue of who we should have as manager. Alarmingly, the chicken farmers appear to favour Steve Kean, the man that very few Rovers fans could have identified from a line-up of mediocre football coaches. That he has no managerial experience and was also part of Allardyce’s apparently unsuitable backroom staff seems to have been ignored. Talk of Maradona, whilst amusing for the rest of the football world, led to cold chills amongst the faithful, although not as much as reports from one bookmaker, who continue to offer an astonishing 34-1 for Paul Ince to reclaim the throne.
Unfortunately, yesterday’s game did little to offer hope to the frozen hoards who struggled through the ice and snow to watch a game devoid of any quality. The primary details were the scoreline and injuries to Roberts and Jones, the latter sounding more serious with every report. It’s too early to decide whether Steve Kean will produce the combination of decent play and solid results that were the hallmark of the Hughes era. Let’s hope that by the time his abilities are exposed as limited, we aren’t too far in the mire.
As for Big Sam, try not to shed too many tears. The reputation of our club has been diminished by his appalling approach to the game, not to mention his ludicrous delusions of grandeur. If you have a life that is so empty, so lonely, that you need to cherish the memory of a man who makes Bernard Manning seem like Vanessa Hudgens, then follow @thebig_sam on Twitter, and see him as others do. For the rest of us, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and not a moment too soon.